deep meditation and sleepiness

sometimes i wonder how my life would change if i played more to balance. honestly, i sort of enjoy the extremities of edge and dullness, and the whipsaw ride along the way. this is an oscillation and tells you something, and it’s part of being me these days

when it comes to deep meditation, i go through phases of taking it lightly, favoring pranayama more.  then later when my abs and throat feel sore from going too hard on the pranayama, spine alive with delicious fire, and life getting all crazy, i’ll switch to favoring deep meditation to regain some clarity/depth/peace and let things calm down

(external expression is a reflection from the inside — it can be interesting to remember this in a moment of perceived offense)

now while pranayama tends to rev me up, making for some interesting insomnia near the peak of my little cycle, deep meditation seems to have the opposite effect on me.. i start lounging around the house doing very little physical work (although the writing is good, like right now), craving sweets and proteins (grounders/energizers?), and the naps!

long naps, short naps, micro naps, naps with a curled up cat, naps in the living room with all the green plants, naps that start during the day and wake up confused in the middle of the night.. dreams are vivid

naps in the sunshine tend to feature moving fractals, especially if my forehead is directly facing the sun 

the buddhists seem to know about this, because they talk about not sleeping too much (makes one dull)

maybe physical exercise would help.. or some hatha yoga (not my favorite thing, but very good for me)

well it’s finally spring, so i can dust off my bicycle.. rig up a video camera to the handlebars and tour the paths down by the river.. what a sweet idea!